memoirs of skullkid.

Great way to start the year

2010-01-11T01:07:00.000-08:00

Went to see Integrity and Ringworm last night. The other bands didn't matter. The show was pretty boring up until Ringworm and Integrity. Saw her. Easily one of the best nights I've had in years. So much fun. On the car ride back, I was staring off listening to this weird ambient acoustic stuff Cory was playing. It made me think. About everything. How everything, always has its own funny way of working everything out. Always. I'm learning to be more patient. I love it. Stuff it heading in the right direction, I just gotta wait it out.

I know that everything, know that everything, know that everything.

2010-01-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE! I would have most likely already have killed myself if it wasn't for Blink 182. Jamming with this band today that has a emotive/pop-punk-esque sound to them. Pretty stoked about it.

Re-Reading

2010-01-07T00:31:00.001-08:00

I was going over my blog and it's the same post over and over... it should tell me somethings about myself.

What to do...

2010-01-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what the hell is going on my life right now. As far as work goes, that's great! Making good money and working decent hours. I cannot complain. HOWEVER, my love(HAHAHA) life is kinda strange right now. The girl I'm completely head over heels for... I just don't know. It's nothing bad, I just think I want too much, too soon... which IS bad, I guess. She isn't ready to date, I know this... I just wanna date her though. I want to show her that all I want IS her. That sounds super creepy or whatever, I don't mean it that way. I just want to be with her. A part of me doesn't want her to read this, because this might creep her out a little, another part does. So, if you do/are reading this.

I don't want to push you away because I do like you, I just want to prove to you that there still are good guys out there who aren't gonna fuck with your heart. Give me a shot, I won't make you regret it.

Sleep.

2009-10-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing, I hibernate. I hate it, haha. Today was decent, I just sat around and took a nap. I haven't ate much of anything today, because I'm just not hungry, I guess. I need more social stimulation in my life. It's driving me nuts.

Another one

2009-10-12T01:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to just stop. I feel like I've taken one step forward and two steps back, ever since I got here. I know all my posts are, "Oh, blah blah blah. I'm so sad and shit. Blah blah blah." I'm just sick of feeling this god damn way. I have a job, great. I'm (as of lately) paying rent in my parents house, which is shitty. I haven't paid off my phone yet, god damnit. No car, even a bigger god damnit. I want a god damn girlfriend, more than anything. Haha. Jesus Christ. I miss everybody in Richmond, and all persons associated. I miss you guys more than anything in the World. All was right during this pass weekend. Thanks.

DEAR FATTY CAT

2009-07-27T10:16:00.001-07:00

YOU FOUND IT.

DAMNIT

2009-06-30T12:13:00.001-07:00

I hate feeling like this! I don't know, I'm so antsy and anxious. I feel like I keep messing up, over and over. I want to do the right thing, I'm trying really hard. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm trying too hard, but I don't know. When I find something good, I don't want to let go. AT ALL. Maybe I'm just over thinking everything, but I have no idea. I don't think it's what I think it is (that sentance doesn't make sense at all). I just have a problem with over analyzing everything, I have the worst gut feeling in the world right now. I just need to calm down a little bit.

Christ...

2009-06-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

So, I'm fallen completely head over heels for this girl. She brings out a side of me that I haven't seen in a really long time, and I like it. I'm experiencing feelings that I thought were locked and never going to be seen again, but I'm scared. I'm terrified because what if... What if it isn't that I think it is? What if it's just another lost cause and I'm stuck on a desolte road alone... again. I'm just trying to keep my head straight and not screw up too much, and hope that things develope even more. I'm starting to adore her more each day, I must sound like a creep to her. I hope I don't come off as that, because it would be the last thing I would want. I'm just gonna take a day at a time, and enjoy the time we spend together.

ulgh.

2009-04-15T17:11:00.001-07:00

This is getting annoying, I thought things were picking up finally then I get hit with a bunch of shit I do not want to hear or experience. I just don't get it anymore, all this bad shit just keeps piling up and filing into my life. When am I gonna get a break. Where the fuck is my silver lining? Is all this stupid shit happening because I have bad karma or I'm a terrible person? Who the fuck knows, all I know is that this shit is getting annoying.

Rut

2009-03-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

How do you get yourself out of a bad mood if you can't find the source of the discomfort?

Fresh Prince

2009-03-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

Seriously, the best show HANDS FUCKING DOWN. No show has been as flawless as this one. In other news, nothing else exciting has happened in my life yet. Still just working and living pay check to pay check.

Fire ants man!

2009-03-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

Snort a line of fire ants and you are just as hard as Nikky Sixx and Ozzy Osborne, but you'll die. Just down in Stafford for the night to hang out with Mike and Bham. Everything is going pretty well in Richmond. I need another job because I don't have much money anymore. Still kinda lonely, but I got all my friends and thats all I really need. When to two dance parties this weekend. The first one ruled really hard, and the second one fucking sucked dick. I'm just kinda worried about me being so strapped for cash. I need some food and some other things.

Second guesses.

2009-03-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

I've been in a sour mood for the past couple of days and I can't figure out why. I find myself second guessing myself a lot lately, and I hardly ever do that. I don't know if it's because my job, or if its all these late nights but its getting to the point where I'm starting to annoy myself. Do people find me as annoying as I find myself sometimes? I hate feeling like that, I want to know whats going on in my head, but I can't find the right door to open. I guess everybody goes into this moods from time to time, but I want to be over it and find my old self again.

HI!

2009-03-20T18:42:00.001-07:00

Tonight so far is off the charts. Saw Bryce play, listened to some sweet Ska bands and now I'm about to shotgun some beers and hang the fuck out. I'm super content with everything right now, and I couldn't be happier with where I'm at. I miss everybody in Washington, but all my friends here are helping me cope with that very well. I love all you guys, a lot!

Everything comes full circle

2009-03-13T00:58:00.001-07:00

I don't even know how to express whats going through my head right now. I'm completely and utterly terrified of theses events that are unfolding. My future is hanging in the balance, and I'm afraid I'll screw it up.

These nights...

2009-03-07T01:37:00.000-08:00

I never want nights like this to ever go away. Good friends and good times. Sadly, it all has to always come to an end. For now, I'm just going to cherish every moment.

Onward!

2009-03-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

Holy shit, a lot has fucking happened in the time from when I last updated to now. Well, me and Taylor broke the fuck up. I moved to Virginia with my parents. Now I live in Richmond. It fucking rules, I would love to stay here for a while. I met new amazing people, all who fucking rule SO HARD! Mich, Bobby, Mike, Fuzzy, Adam and Justin I owe you guys a whole lot. Anyway, this is just a small update, I plan on posting a lot more.

Sad day

2008-09-10T07:17:00.001-07:00

What happens when you lose the single most precious thing in your life?

Countdown

2008-06-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

WOW! Its weird to think that I've been together with Taylor for so long. It's going to be an entire year on Saturday!! I'm really excited. I've learned so much about her and myself this past year with her. We came over MANY bumps and curves. I think we've landed right where we want to be right now, and I think we're going places. A whole year with something is a scary thought. You don't know how it'll turn out, or if it will even work. But, look at us! One year and STILL going strong. I know we are gonna get hitched one day. Maybe not tomorrow, the next day or even next year, but one way or another, we'll manage. We have so many plans for the future, I wish that the future would come already. I'm so excited to start off my "adult" life with her. (i.e. moving out, kids, rent, bills...etc.) We're dining at a fancy place and going to a movie Saturday. Till then.

Holy shit!

2008-05-12T01:57:00.000-07:00

Goddamn! It's been forever since I've posted. Well, lets see. Some updates. Well, I got my G.E.D and enrolled into Clark College. I'm going to be taking Digital Photography and some kinda of P.E class. Taylor and I are still doing amazing. I might be getting a job at FEDEX with her brother's girlfriend, Kelly. That could be interesting. First Blood is on Tuesday and I have no idea if I'll make it. People still hate me, I still hate everyone. Nothing is new in my world.

Inspiration

2008-04-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have found inspiration in my life. It's not music. It's not drugs. It's not even a material object. It's a person. This person will do absolutely anything for anybody, without question. This person has such a big heart and one day I wanna have a heart as big as thiers. They will drop whatever they are doing, without any fuss and do what you asked. If you need help, they are the first person there to help. It's amazing how one person can have so much compation for other people, even for me. This person shows me so much love, and care. This person tought me how to feel like a normal human being, with more then one feeling. They tought me how to love, and I have no idea how I can re-pay this person. Everyday I learn something new from this person, and I can't believe I can call this person my girlfriend. Taylor Daniel is the most amazing human being, hands down. She shows me what its like to be loved, cared for every single day. She touches everybody in their hearts when they meet her. I'm so glad that we've been together this long. Baby, I know you'll read this so this is me telling you how much I love you and how much I appericate what you bring to this relationship. I count my lucky stars every single day I talk to you. I say "Wow, I can't believe I can call her my own. She's mine and always will be." This past ten months have been the most amazing months of my life. I'm looking forward to the years we're going to be together. Taylor, I love you, with all that I am.

Listen to the rain... it speaks.

2008-04-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

The most relaxing thing in the world, is just sitting down and actually listening to the rain. I can't tell you what it is, or what its that way. It just is. I love sitting down outside on a porch to listen to the rain. It calms my mind and just... relaxes me. Simple as that. Anyways, didn't do much of anything today. I hung out with Cael and Alex for a little bit. Alex went to go pick up Chelsey from the airport and Cael and I went to go get food. I talked to Taylor for a little bit on the phone and then she went to sleep. Our 10 months Anniversary is coming up and I'm really excited. Her and I have been through a lot and leaped over many obstacles. I really do believe, deep down in my heart that she is the one that I'm going to marry. Without a doubt or second thought in my mind. She was built for me as I was for her. We don't fight over stupid shit, we get along perfect. She likes my friends and I like hers (finally!). There isn't anything that we can't overcome, and if there is, we haven't seen it yet.

Dreamless Dreamer

2008-04-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I just woke up and had another dreamless night. Thoes been happening more often then not, but useally I do dream. Just lately, I haven't at all. I wonder if its because I'm "growing up" and losing my imagination? Or is it because I'm just too stressed out from everything day to day, that my mind just passes out with me along with my body? The sleep was good, but I just find it weird that I hardly dream anymore. When I do dream, the dreams are all the same... Zombies. Zomebies everywhere, no where to run, no where to hide type deal. Picture Resident Evil meets Dawn of the Dead. Scary shit. Anyways, I'm going to get started with the day and get dressed, call some people and go to Clark and get my test scores. Wish me luck.

First Thoughts

2008-04-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

Somethings that just bug me more then anything are people. I know thats a very popular topic of arguements or discussions, but seriously. Some people just don't know when to quit. I'm not going to name any names, but the people who read this will know exactly who I'm talking about. I'm sick of being told that I'll never amount to anything or I'm going to go nowhere with my life. I think I'm pretty well on my way to becoming what I want to be in my life. I'm PRETTY DAMN sure I have control of everything and anything going on in my life also. Things just pile up and get to me. I need somewhere to vent and someone to comment and help me out. I know three people in my life that will do anything for me. Taylor Daniel, Corey Cota, and Thomas Morell. These three people are the totem pole that keeps me going and I love all of them. The sad part is I can't even count on my parents. I really wish I could, but I can't. My Dad and I don't know how to connect, and everybody knows how that works. My Mom just gets mad right off the bat. It isn't even worth asking them for help. The three people that I just said above, I can count on them for anything. A roof if I need it, clothes, money, help. I love my girlfriend more then my own life. Shes my world and my one and only. If people don't believe in love at first sight, ask about our story. It's a love novel in the making and its just the beginning of the book.